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Holy Books

CREE-A-SHA-NISM

Helen C Mason

They started as tales round a campfire

Passed on from father to son

These tales were told to inspire

As they sat in the setting sun

 

Little by little words got changed

Meanings altered to suit

Like Chinese whispers rearranged

They took a different route

 

Then man put pen to parchment

Now written; the tales become fact

Add in rules, laws and tenets

Serve it up as a holy tract

 

Written to fit a time and age

Mystery, miracles and awe

Presented by a wise old sage

These words become the law

 

Now these words are sacrosanct

Relayed by your god or prophet

Whom you must love, obey and give thanks

As these words in stone are now set.

 

(with a nod to Pink Floyd)

 

We are not your congregation

We don’t need your piety

No more bigots in Westminster

Clergy leave the state alone

Hey Bishops leave the House of Lords

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

 

I don’t need no hardline preaching

I don’t need no bible teaching

I have seen the church’s power

Get down from that Ivory tower

Hey Clergy leave the state alone

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

 

We don’t need indoctrination

We don’t need your incantation

No more holy legislation

Clergy leave the state alone

Hey Bishops leave the House of Lords

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

All in all you’re not----Elected by me

 

Adam and Eve are cousins of mine

Sisters, brothers and parents too

Begetting and begetted so many times

I don’t really know who’s who

 

I’ve never heard a big bang

Since the day that I was born

Monkeys are just monkeys

But I’ve seen a Unicorn

 

I love to romp with Dinosaurs

Whilst tending to my crops

I know they’ll never eat me

Coz God will tell them “Stop”

 

The earth was made in 6 days

I know this to be true

6000 years to build the Causeway

And Higgs Bosun’s only glue

 

                  Chorus

[ to the tune of 4 legged friends ]

 

Cree-A-Sha-Nism, Cree-A-Sha-Nism

You’ll never get me down

Nonsensical drivel from beginning to end

Those outrageous one-two-three-four thousand lies.

Are you an evangelical preacher

Or a devout Islamist teacher

Do you believe in Spiritualism

Or are you more into Satanism

Are you a celibate catholic priest

Or a Mormon polygamist

Do you believe in a holy prophet

Or pass the plate just for a profit

Do you pray in a church or temple

Or just prey on the weak and simple

You can smoke weed as a Rastafarian

But must abstain if you follow Iman

Do you lie down and pray in a mosque

Or stand up and be orthodox

Are you Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist

Or a Hollywood Scientologist

Do you have to be a Reverend

To believe in a world without end

Holy wars could have been averted

If the other side had just converted

I know your faith can be very strong

But could you maybe have it wrong

What if there is nothing to believe

And religion IS the Opium of society

 

Helen C Mason (a child of the 60s) has an irreverent sense of humour and uses it to good effect in her verse. That is not to say that she does not have a serious side and has written many controversial poems on human rights.

Her third collection of very funny poems is available on Amazon. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/POEMS-ABOUT-STUFF-

 

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